Many of us hide from the world our best, our most honest, and the most interesting aspects of our personality. We hide from the world out of fear, a fear that paralyzes us into inaction. Instead of choosing that which is the pinnacle of our potential, we instead choose a life of familiarity and indecision. This fear is deep within the crevices of our souls and manifests itself in pivotal decisions in our lives as a sort of safety mechanism. It is a learned response to previous trauma, as a way of protecting us from the unknown. The trauma of being birthed into a world of unfamiliarity. A world full of strange faces, bright lights and the unrevealed. We yearn to return to the womb, the cozy world of invisibility and dependence. Our inaction and indecision, our familiar dependence is the manifestation of our fear, to be seen. I can remember as a child the fear. It was the fear of monsters and ghosts in my closet or under my bed. I can remember waking from terrifying nightmares, paralyzed with fear. Hiding within the folds of my blanket, hoping to not be seen by something out there in my room of shadows. Eventually, I would begin to strain to breathe underneath the weight of the hot blanket. I would crack an opening and feel the cool air pour into my lungs. Slowly gaining the courage I would peer with one eye into the unknown from behind the folds, i would hope the monsters would not catch me in my moment of courage. This courage would begin to build until I would scream out for my Father to rescue me from my fear. I can still recall the elation I would feel as I heard his footsteps draw closer to my bedroom door.
The monsters of the unknown haunt the decisions of our lives. For myself there have been many times in my life that I was faced with great opportunities which required a healthy dose of vulnerability. It required that I take a chance and either fail and make a fool of myself or succeed and achieve greatness. There is always a point of no return that many times paralyzes us into indecision, to stay in the womb of inaction, to hide under our blanket of justifications. In my own life, any time that I chose to not step into the unknown out of fear, I would look back on those decisions believing that my ideas of success were merely childish desires that were unattainable. The truth is, is that we make excuses to mask our fear of failure and success. Our dreams are unattainable, only because we do not transcend from our fears, into the world of the unknown. If we would only pull back the blanket, we would realize that it is just another room. In order for us to achieve we must make a fool of ourselves, be vulnerable, expose our true nature to the world, and only then can we grow as humans. Our monsters are immaterial shadows of our sub-conscious mind presenting us with an infinite amount of reasons why doing nothing is the best practice. There is a good possibility that we all only get one chance at this life, and so it is up to each of us to transcend our indecision and inaction and become our greatest, our most honest and interesting. Become the people we dream to be.
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